If there’s one thing you should not say during a fight, it’s this.

If there’s one thing you should not say during a fight, it’s: “Let’s break up”.

That line is the worst thing you could say during a fight for so many reasons:

  1. You’ll regret it.
    You’ll regret saying those words pretty much as soon as they come out of your mouth, if not later. This is because the cold hard truth, is that you didn’t mean it. If you break up during a fight, chances are, you only suggested the breakup in the heat of the moment. You were so angry at the person you wanted to make them really hurt- and what better way to do it then to break up with them?Moral of the story: Think carefully about whether or not you want to break up with your significant other over a petty argument about how they always forgets to order extra FUCKING pineapple on the Hawaiian pizza. So don’t do it, just in case they don’t take you back- and then it’s just you and your pineapple.

    Feels Good Man

    Don’t end up like this guy.

  2. You’ll end the relationship on bad terms.
    If you truly love, or at least loved at some point, your significant other, then you wouldn’t want to break up with them on bad terms. Just remember that for the duration you’ve been together romantically, you’ve been one another’s best friend.Moral of the story:  Just really make sure you’ve been fair when considering a breakup. It’s disrespectful to the relationship you’ve built together if you break up with the other person on a whim, during a fight.
  3. You’ll hurt longer.
    Say the break up sticks, and you and your significant other really aren’t together anymore. All that anger, frustration and unfinished business, tied to that one argument, will haunt you for a long time. Sometimes you’ll feel regret, and you’ll think to yourself “maybe I was wrong, and I should have apologized” (sorry buddy, too late). Sometimes you’ll feel anger because of the way that “jackass” treated you.Moral of the story: You don’t get closure from angry break ups. To be vulgar, it’s kind of like herpes. The lingering anger will always be there, waiting to drag you back down when you ponder a little too much before you go to bed at night.
  4. It’s better to live with them than live without them.
    If you really think your significant other is so unbearable that you’d be better off without them, then go ahead. Break up with them. But don’t do it during an argument, for the aforementioned reasons. You’ll be better off if you let yourself calm down first before spitting out irrational words like, “let’s break up”. Most of the time though, you’ll realise that it’ll be much harder trying to get used to life without them, and you’re better off just getting over it and making  up.Moral of the story:  Just be an adult and have a civilized talk with your significant other over what’s bothering you. After all, isn’t that what relationships are about? Getting to know what makes the other person tick, and compromising? Not hurling hurtful words, you’ll regret later on, at each other like a bunch of Capuchin monkeys throwing faeces at one another.

    Don’t do it. Don’t break up during a fight.

  5. You don’t want to be that couple.
    We’ve all got that couples friend who constantly break up, get back together, and break up again. They do it so often, you need Facebook to tell you whether or not they’re still together… at the moment. It’s tiring and frustrating for you, and extremely tedious for the friends who have to offer their support every, single, time you break up with your significant other. And soon, their lips will be saying, “are you okay?” but they’ll really be thinking, “oh here we go again”.Moral of the story: Make sure when you break up with your significant other, it’s a clean break. No anger, no mess, no getting back together. And if you won’t do it for the sake of your relationship, or for the sanity of your friends, at least do it for this cute kitty cat.

    How can you say no to this face?

    Well then, hope that was somewhat insightful. I do want to mention one last point though. The ONLY time it is EVER okay to break up with your significant other during a fight, is if, and ONLY IF, they have cheated on you. If they’ve done the dirty on you, go ahead and dump that mother fucker’s ass. Do it in public. Do it in their car and then smash their head lights in or something. Just make sure they get the message loud and clear: “IT’S OVER YA SCUMBAG”.

Love,

Ally

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Insecurities and relationships

The history of my relationships is an extensive one. Not that I would actually consider any of them real relationships.

I’ve always been a romantic. I guess those Jane Austen novels and cheesy romcoms got to me. They made me believe that one day I’d encounter the love of my life through a chance meeting, he’d chase me, we’d get over some complication, and then finally end up together five-ever. The chance-meeting, would involve some romantic location in Europe (like the Trevi Fountain) and the love of my life would be some sexy European guy with an accent that would get my lady parts all hot and bothered.

So I went through guy after guy after guy, in hopes that he’d be the one.

I guess to others it seemed like I had low standards, and I just liked dating guys for the hell of it. They must’ve thought I just fell in love easy, and fell out of love just as easy.

But the fact of the matter was that my philosophy in love is that you can’t judge a book by its cover. Yes, there needs to be an initial spark of attraction between the potential lover and yourself, but real dates, and real conversations, need to happen before you can decide whether or not they’re the right fit.

So I always gave these guys a chance. I dated them for a few weeks, maybe a few months. And contrary to what others thought, I was actually extremely picky in terms of ideal qualities “my guy” should have. So I told guy after guy that I was simply too busy to commit to a relationship (if you ever hear this, know that it’s a lie. If you really like someone, you’ll find time to fit them in your life).

After years of not being able to find the perfect guy, and inventing what was formerly known as the “Valentine’s Day Curse” (I always just happened to be single on Valentines day), I began to question whether or not there was just something wrong with me.

It made sense. I’ve never looked in the mirror and thought “you’re beautiful” or “you’re pretty”. In fact, I’ve always been a tad uncomfortable looking at myself in the mirror (especially, naked). Growing up, people always said my sister was the pretty one. My parents commented a lot about my weight. So I went from not caring about my appearance, to beating myself up constantly. I became obsessed with my weight, lost weight, and developed a whole bunch of unhealthy eating habits. To this day, I still let my self worth be tied to the approval of others, and to numbers on a scale.

Anyway, I began to see a pattern with all the guys I dated. I’d like them initially because I found them at least mildly attractive. We’d date, I’d find a whole bunch of flaws about them, it’d become increasingly like a chore to see them, and eventually I’d stop seeing them.

So I thought, maybe it’s because I’m so insecure, I always doubt anyone would actually like me once they got to know the real me. That’s why I push people away when they get too close, and I leave people before they can leave me.

Well, the moral of this very long babble is, that I was wrong- well, partially. Yes, I was insecure, but those guys just really weren’t right for me.

How do I know that? Because I’ve now been in a relationship with my current boyfriend for 16 months. He’s so right for me that I don’t have to feel uncomfortable in my own skin around him.

There are times when my insecurities creep in and I start arguments with him over the things that are making me insecure, but he’s never let me cave in to my insecurities. He always finds a way to make me see just how silly I’m being.

My point is, is that if you’re like me, going through endless guys and beginning to wonder if there’s anything wrong with you, there isn’t. Being yourself is the most wonderful, and comfortable thing to be.

No One Can Make You Feel Inferior Without Your Consent

So don’t settle for the guy who only wants you when you’re in that uncomfortably tight dress and sky high heels because the guy who loves you, in that unflattering hoodie and trackies, is out there. You know, the guy who you’ll have endlessly long conversations with. The one you’d rather spend Friday nights at home with. And the one who’ll laugh with you at your crappy jokes.

When you find him, don’t drag up those insecurities from the past, because the past is where they should stay. The only thing they’ll be good for is destroying your relationship.